Wingman Guide for Not So Single Guys

As a Not so Single Guy your position changes on the team. You can no longer be the center, dunking and crashing boards. You have to be more of a point guard, setting up plays and making assists. This is the art of the Wingman. The greatest assist a wingman can do is the alley-oop. Beautiful and barbaric at the sametime, the graceful glide followed by a colleague banging the basket. When done right is an awesome sight and when done wrong can lead to many problems. See the ally-oop for the not-so-single-man is the highest achievement because he runs the play all the way to the brink of a score but then puts it in the hands of a well placed teammate. A further explanation for the lay person: You and a group of friends go to a club. You all do normal club things: drink, dance, socialize, etc. Everyone plays their position switching from scorer to wingman accordingly. However, as a not-so-single-guy you can't score, you can't get a number, kiss a random shorty, grab a booty, or go home with a girl (I think I missed one example, but you get the point), so you play wingman all night. Since, your sole role is wingman status you can't be a mediocre wingman like your single pals, you've got to go IN. Not to mention you know your skills and you could easily be doing much more than assisting as a matter of fact, despite your efforts somehow you ended up on a scoring path. Scoring path- when two people meet and cross over the brink of idle chit-chat to purposefully driven information gathering. The goal of the information gathering is a comfort zone, because you can't score unless your new lady-friend is comfortable. I digress, when a not-so-single-guy finds himself on the scoring path there are two options 1) awkwardly back out of it making yourself look sus (pronounced sus like from the word sus-pect) or 2)engage alley-oop style.
Option 2: One would carry out all interactions during this scoring path as if you were single but you bring down the intensity to about 55%-60%. Make her laugh but not too much and not too hard, touch her while talking but not too long and be certain to avoid certain key areas like the thigh and/or hand, and above all keep it light, i.e. don't lay on the lines. Ok her eyes are beautiful, but don't say that shyt! Else that's it, you're done. Now I know what you're thinking, women don't fall for that line. Your right they don't, but if you really mean it, it's true, and you say it at the right time trust me it works 60% of the time everytime...j/k it works because its honest. Anyway, if you say something like that the scoring path will be solidified and now you have a problem (which will be explained in later Not So Single posts). So to avoid any issues for goodness sake keep it light. Not keeping it light is the number 1 problem for most not-so-single-men, esp. those that are relatively new to not so singleness and/or those that put massive points up on the board in a previous life.
Once you've kept it light enough to get to the comfort zone you now have to inconspicuously slide in your buddy. There are a few ways to do this. Easiest way slip him in is through a shared funny story, ask for his input, and give him the signal. Every man knows the signal, so no need for explanation. You've now transferred comfortability from yourself to your peer. You say one more diluted clever thing, he follows up with a higher intensity 75%-80% insight-joke-whatever, and you're nearly there. Now, you must step away and allow him to bring it home.
How do you bring it home? Keep it simple...excuse yourself. The excuse has to be final, not an excuse me I'll be right back but an excuse me it was a pleasure speaking with you I got to take care of ____ for a few. Alley-oop, inevitable.